


Tom

by theprincesjewel



Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-06-01
Updated: 2014-02-12
Packaged: 2017-12-13 14:38:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 2,946
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/825435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theprincesjewel/pseuds/theprincesjewel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My confession, I fear, comes in fanfic form... mostly because I finally got around to watching The Deep Blue Sea (which sucked), and apparently the suckage required writing of Tom.</p>
<p>Most of those in chapter one have been used with permission by Tom Hiddleston Confessions and set to Tom pictures. They're lovely.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Deep Blue Sea had but one squee

"He is a beautiful man."  
"That he is."  
He, of course, is Tom Hiddleston. They are fans.

"He is sooo gorgeous as Loki!"  
"Mm, yeah. Did you see him as Magnus?"  
"Duh, Magnus Mondays?"  
"How about as Freddie?"  
Eyes dilate. "He was... naked." The tone is reverent, but the expression, mirrored, is pure lust.  
He was naked. He was beautiful. His skin was very pale, and his form - there are no words adequate to describe, properly, the lines and curves that beg to be stroked and traced, or the way he moved. One must simply say that he inspires lust.

"Poetry."  
"Fashion shoot."  
"That satisfied little smile..."  
'tis impossible to say if they will remember to Google the lines from the poems, and so learn them in their entirety. It is only truth to say the video will be watched and rewatched until they can recite the lines in unison with that gloriously expressive voice.

"Ovaries..."  
"... exploded."  
It is his smile. It is breathtaking in its wholehearted honesty, lighting his face and eyes - those wonderfully emotive eyes. It makes him beautiful, that smile; a reflection of his soul, visible for anyone who chooses to see.

He is a gentleman. He is an inspiration to others. He is a leader who chooses to lead by his example for causes that touch his heart. He is generous, and caring, yet devoted to his passions and his art. He is the man mothers wish teir daughters would marry; their sons to become. He is successful and dynamic, and a twitchy talkaholic. He is Tom Hiddleston. He is just a man. A good man.


	2. Conversion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Iwouldvebeendrake01 posted: This part made me giggle. Hearing Tom say that his 'visage' is only alright just killed me. I mean, look at the man! in a note added to tomhiddleston-gifs.tumblr.com/post/51466018369, and prompted this chapter's conversation.

"You know, he's not all that." The tone is thoughtful.

"What?!" two scandalized, disbelieving voices cry.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, he's a great actor. He's just not all that great looking."

"Is she serious?" Pure disbelief. "I... I... I think so," comes the dazed, confused reply.

"Seriously? Receding hairline, crows feet and wrinkles, looks like shite without his makeup?"

Identical gaping looks are exchanged, and eyes narrow as they turn back to the speaker. "Are you really saying this?"

"Are you seriously telling me that you'd recognize him if he had a hangover, was dressed in scruffy clothes, and was looking for headache pills at the grocery store?"

"Yes!" half-shouted in unison.

"In Kansas. Where he has absolutely no reason whatsoever to be in, ever? And remember, he's got a hangover, looks like he's been on a three day drunk, and he's _not_ smiling." She is flatly disbelieving.

The others blink at the mental image this word picture conjures up. "Prince Hal?" one offers after a moment. "King Henry during the mud battle?" suggest the other.

"Freddie on a bender?"

"Oh fuck, I hated that movie! And no, Freddie never looked three days drunk."

"He's got kinda thin lips, too, really," the first says, still looking at their pictures.

"Kill her?"

"Okay."

"Dear gods in heaven, hell and in between! Does he always sit like that?!"

"Yes." Chorused as they close in.

"Never mind. I completely understand now."

They attack with pillows instead of solid blunt objects. She's been converted. They no longer need to kill her.


	3. Shipping explanation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> see title

"I don't get this FrostIron stuff. The movies make it clear Tony is devoted to Pepper."

"Playboy," her friend retorts.

"Not since Iron Man 2."

"Flirted with Loki in Avengers."

"Definitely. And called Loki his," the third agreed.

"Oh." Pause. "Still don't get it."

"Hold on. Let me show you the interview." Buttons click. YouTube provides.

"Oh!" Enlightenment has clearly dawned. "They are adorable!" Pause. "But not as Tony and Loki. That's as Robert and Tom."

"FrostIron's FrostIron," her friend replies with a shrug. "Loki's a shapeshifting Trickster god, remember?"

"Yeah, and?"

"What better way to cause mischief than to pretend to be a gorgeous, charismatic, ridiculously humble..." brief pause for though, "... compelling, approachable, humanitarian actor?"

"Um..."

"Tom did say Loki is his dark side. Polar, opposite, same difference," she tacks on quickly, hands flapping when the other tries to protest.

That one pauses, chiding finger held still, mouth open, arrested expression frozen a moment. Her hand drops. "Oh, right. He did. So... Tom is really Loki?"

"Or, Loki is really Tom."

"But, why?"

"Oh, just a bit of fun, really," the third drawls.

Looks are exchanged, and the three girls collapse into giggles.


	4. Tomki Tsunami

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Comic con happened. What did you think the title meant?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comic Con happened. And yes, I know it's mostly known as the Lokipocalypse, Lokinado, Loki-something-I've-forgotten, and Lokisplosion. I like Tomki Tsunami because it came in waves of Loki and Tom. Many, many very big waves. (It can also be known as HiddlesRapture due to someone misreading Hiddlesraptor...)
> 
> And yes, the shirt has been suggested to We Love Fine.

"I couldn't go to Comic Con!"

"Who needed to? The best parts took over every single social network!"

"MySpace?"

Momentary pause. "I'll have to check. I keep forgetting I have that account."

"Google Plus?"

"You know I don't have one there! Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and tumblr.!"

"How's the drawing of Velociraptom going?"

Heavy sigh. "Do I look like my mother? My skill's with words, not lines! I can't even -" Hands flap in frustration.

"Do you think We Love Fine will do it?"

"Given how fast they'll sell them? Hell yes!" Frustrated noise. "What I need to do is get the perfect screen shot and print it out and make a few modifications so it's more Loki-and-the-Loon-ish... Huh. Wonder if that artist would do it?"

"She's been horrifically busy, or didn't you see the tumblr post?"

"Oh, right." Sigh. "I forgot to take the sketchbook to work."

"Which is why the Tom 'story' got a new chapter." Pause. "LiveJournal?"

"Huh. Maybe. I'll have to check. If nothing else, maybe SOMEONE WILL HAVE POSTED FIC!"

"Yeah, that interview where he mentioned what happened to Loki..."

Screech of exasperation. "They weren't kind, use your imagination?" she paraphrased. "Fuck! My imagination's being horrifyingly sadistic and vicious and... I don't want to imagine poor Loki going through that!"

"So, Velociraptom?"

Instant facepalm. "That dork is such an adorable asshole..."

Laughter. "The way you describe the people you like."

"Oh, shut up you bitch!"


	5. Affairs of the Heart?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The fans discuss significant others, and such-type

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Names have been added to make it a bit easier to read. I'm informed this will be helpful.

"Did you see the interview with Benedict answering if he'd ever date a fan?"

"Pretty sure I heard his entire fandom screaming 'choose me!'," Jewel answered wryly.

"You think?"

"Dear, if that had been Tom, the world would still be reverberating from the cry."

"True enough." Kris yawns. "Do you ever think about dating him?"

"Benedict?" teasingly.

"Tom!"

"Of course. Most fangirls do, I suppose."

"Oh, really? So how does your fantasy go?"

Jewel wrinkles her nose. "It never gets very far before I start feeling sorry for him."

Kris blinks. "Your fantasy is that you suck as a girlfriend?"

"Idiot!" Jewel throws a pillow at her. "No, it's just..." She sighs. "I start thinking about how maybe his soulmate could actually be one of his fans, and that he'll probably never have the chance to get to know her even if he does meet her because darling Luke will be herding him on to his next appearance, and that he'll wind up eventually settling for someone he works with because she's there and they get along well enough, but there's always something just a bit off because they've both go their careers, and their children - if there are any... I dunno. It get to that point and I always see her hating being tied down by the husband and kids getting in the way of her career, and leaving them, so that while Tom still has his beloved and much-wanted children, there's this void in him that her leaving has only made worse."

"Morbid much?"

"Given how often celebrities marry other celebrities and how short most those marriages seem to be? I don't think so. Okay, yeah, maybe a little. But I suppose that's why I can't really create a fantasy where we'd be together. I can't come up with a reasonable starting point. It's not like I'm gonna run into him while I'm on a grocery run: He lives in London!"

"Vacation?"

Jewel gives Kris a look. "That fantasy would have to start with winning the lottery, I think, and you know I quit playing because I can't afford to."

"You are putting too much reality into your fantasy."

"Given that both fantasies I've had involve me getting completely lost in a foreign country, and on of 'em gave me a freaky stalker guy, I think I will stick with the more likely 'Tom gets invited to a con I actually go to, accepts, and I wind up talking with Luke' version."

Kris blinks. "Luke? Not Tom?"

"My brain has decided to stick Tom on the 'unattainable celebrity' pedestal, and my mind ran with the 'Luke's got no bodyguard' thing. Don't ask. I haven't figured it out."

"But... Luke?"

"I think it's the default look of frustration he always seems to have," Jewel says reflectively. "It matches my 'I will never meet Tom' face."  
"You are so weird."

"What? You think Luke hasn't acquired a following? Dearest, that boy is the best-known publicist on the planet right now. He is the only one I have ever heard of with his own fanbase! Besides, his Super Nanny act is adorable, and he's cute."

"So you'd date him?"

"In a heartbeat."

"To get to Tom?"

Jewel glared at Kris. "Hell no! I'm a bitch, not a social climbing whore! I'd date him to date him. Not that I'd turn down an introduction to that particular client..." there is a pause to consider the implausibility of either event, "... but not in order to trade up, thank you very much not at all!"

"So... if Luke has a fanbase, doesn't that technically make him a celebrity? Just like Tom?"

"I hate you so much right now. excuse me while I go walk off the gangplank of that ship."

Kris starts laughing, and doesn't stop until Jewel switches from beating her with pillows to tickling the breath out of her.

Later that night, after her friend leaves, Jewel notices the first star of the evening. She looks at it a long moment, and in a moment of reflective whimsy recites:

"Star light,  
"Star bright,  
"First star I see tonight,  
"I wish I may  
"I wish I might  
"Have the wish I wish tonight."

A moment of silence passes before she says, "I wish they both find the people who will make them happy, the ones that won't steal their joy."


	6. Imperfections

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jewel's in a bad mood because Muse is not cooperating. Tom is therefore not perfect.

He's just so dreamy. Perfection," Kris says, mooning over a picture.

"Hn," Jewel replies absently.

"Oh, come on! You know he is!"

"Eh?"

"Tom! He's perfect."

Jewel snorts. "No one's perfect. Granted, he certainly seems so, but it's not like we know him."

Kris promptly rattles off the man's life history. "See? I know all about him!"

"I know about him, too," jewel says sourly, "but that doesn't mean I know him."

"How can you say that!" Kris gasps in horror.

"Easily," she replies, and returns to the FrostIron fic that has hit a snag. She sighs, closes it, and opens the Lodral to reread it.

"But... but..." Kris splutters.

"Oh for the love of all the little gods!" Jewel snaps, turning to glare at the blond. "I have never met the man. I don't hang out with him. We've never dated and never worked together. Everything I know about him is what the media has decided to let be known: I have no personal experiences to draw on.

"Yes, he is good looking. No, those looks are not perfect, and that, thank you, is why he's so lovely to look at!

"Yes, he seems like an utter sweetheart. He's only once that I know of ever gotten snappy or snippy with an interviewer, but the poor kid's got to get pissed off sometime and I have no idea how he reacts when he finally gets shoved over that edge!

"Yes, he is damned inspiring. In many ways. That's great, it's wonderful." Jewel pauses, glaring at her friend. "But my point is that I do not _know_ him, just _about_ him. I do not love  _him_ , but those finer qualities and characteristics the entire freaking world knows about. I don't know who he is off-camera, off-stage, and I probably never will.

"And when I get around to editing those damned video clips I'm trying to do for the Tom's Video project," pause, "I'm going to say basically the same thiing, only less crankily."

"Bitch."

Jewel rolls her eyes and goes back to the fanfic. "Moron."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bps0o1XhMQA info for Tom's Video project. It's real. Goes until Sept 11, 2013 now, I believe.
> 
> I have actually done a video for it, but have no video editing program, so I'm relying on them to fix it. (and no, it's nothing like the one in the story!)


	7. Fucking Christmas Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm cursing, thank you. There's no sex.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not have an appropriate picture to shop, nor do I have photoshop. If you get inspired, send me links!!!!

"It'a almost Christmas!"

"It's the friggin' 3rd."

"It's almost Christmas."

"I am underwhelmed."

"Don't you go quoting DC comics at me!"

Jewel rolled her eyes. "You recognized the reference, so don't bitch."

There is a moment of silence. "So, wanna go terrify a mall Santa?"

"What?" 

"Sit on his lap and tell him what we want for Christmas?"

Jewel considers this. "Not re - oh, gods I hate you!"

"What did I do?"

"You remember that burgundy red suit of Tom's?"

"Yes. He's so dreamy..."

"Go get a drool bucket."

"Why?"

"Fair warning."

"What?"

"Picture Tom in that suit, only with black leather pants. The burgandy part has been trimmed in fur, he's wearing knee-high buckled boots over the leather pants instead of those shiny shoes he likes, and -"

Several incoherent noises proceed: "Hold that thought." Jewel snorts as the other goes to grab a napkin.

"I warned you. Where was I?"

"Boots."

"Right. Plus he's got a Santa hat to match the suit coat on his head. He's leaning forward, one hand outstretched in invitation." Her friend whimpers. Jewel smirks. "Then he says, 'Come and sit on my lap, darling, and tell me your desires."

There is some twitching and glazing of eyes before the other girl keels over, whimpering Tom's name.


	8. Chapter 8: Obsessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, there's been a lot of comments recently about the evil obsessed side of the fandom since it reflects so badly on us all. This is more or less me trying to convince myself, with the aid of my imaginary friend, that I'm not so classified. And if something that I use to disclaim such happens to apply to you, well... tough.

“Are… are we obsessive?”

  
“What?”

 

“Are we obsessive?”

 

“About what?” Jewel returns to squinting at her screen, trying to make out the far too tiny type on the photo she’s attempting to translate.

 

“Tom.”

 

“Oh, him? Dunno. Doubt it.”

 

“Really?” Kristi sounds entirely too relieved. Jewel turns her attention to the girl.

 

“Why are you asking?”

 

“Well, all the magazines describe his fans as obsessive, and now he’s said in an article that some of them are claiming he did stuff for them when he didn’t do anything at all, and there’s all that stuff going on at the Dolmar after Coriolanus, and now this,” she points at her screen, “says he and Benedict got chased by people because they didn’t want to stop to take pictures or sign autographs!”

 

“Oh, that kind of obsessive. No, you don’t qualify. You’re just an internet stalker,” Jewel says dismissively, and returns to parsing out the tiny print. She sits back after several minutes to rub at her eyes, and is treated to a wounded puppy look. “What?”

 

“Aren’t you an internet stalker too?”

 

Jewel tips her head and considers it. “Probably not. I don’t demand he follow me back, I don’t beg him to reply to anything I happen to tweet or post, and I rarely send him messages that don’t relate to something he’s already posted. I follow him, yeah, and have joined a couple fan groups, done a few fan-based Hiddleston inspired projects… but I’m not stalking him, I don’t think.”

 

"So you're saying you never fantasize about him?"

 

"Once since Christmas, so not really. And there were zombies involved."

 

"Zo - I don't want to know."

 

"And Luke."

 

"You have a thing for Luke."

 

"I am aware of that. Haven't figured it out yet. He's got short blond hair and a weird smile. Totally unusual for likage."

 

"Back to Tom!"

 

"Uh-hu?"

 

"You've really never fantasized about him constantly?"

 

"Nope. I prefer the fictional Loki. He's much more fun and equally unattainable."

 

"You're impossible!"

 

"Thank you. Next stalker point?"

 

“You’ve never begged him for an autograph?” Blue eyes turn accusingly to the autographed picture on her wall. Jewel glances at it and grins.

 

“Nope. I won that as a prize in one of said fandom projects. Probably the closest thing to stalkery-ish I get is the occasional chapter I post of that one story, and it’s more of a me-reaction to him stuff than it is about him. I think. Could be wrong.”

 

“But we aren’t obsessive?”

 

Jewel sighs. “Well, no, I don’t think so. The typical fan stuff of checking out other films and TV shows he’s been in doesn’t qualify. Neither does spending fifteen bucks to go watch a live broadcast of him on stage. That was just the least expensive option. No way in hell was I going to go through the rigmarole of getting a passport, booking a flight to London, paying for a hotel while I tried to get tickets to the Warehouse, or stood in line in the damned rain to watch him perform live!”

 

“But didn’t you tweet him that you hoped to get to see him on stage again?”

 

“I didn’t say anything about making any effort to do it. I’d watch another live broadcast, but I’m not driving more than 200 miles to see it, or paying more than… eh… $25 for a ticket to see such,” Jewel informs her. “Preferably less. And next time, I’m taking more homemade snacks. I got hungry!”

 

“You are so self-centered!”

 

“And your point would be?”

 

Kristi blinks and opens her mouth, only to shut it with an audible clash of teeth before whirling to her screen. “Jerk.”

 

“Bitch. Kinda sorry for the guy, though. It’s gotta suck to be famous and have fans that insist on being stupid little fucks. Makes it hard to have a life outside the camera.” Jewel tips her head. “Huh. Maybe that’s why he goes from one project to the next as fast as he can… and I really hope that’s not true.”

 

It takes a moment to sink in. “That. Is. Horrible!”

 

“Kinda sorta really. I need sympathetic chocolate now.” Jewel heads to the kitchen, intent on making some homemade pudding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Grrr... I gave up on getting the paragraphs to space properly!


End file.
